Sweat Pant Rant

July 30, 2018

Hola Bitcholas,

It was a normal morning; woke up sore, kids were needy, took a massive dump...all the hallmarks of an ordinary day. 

Then I waited for the bus.

The wait was about 20 minutes. Just missed one, so I had to wait for the next. Whatever. Took a seat on the bench and flipped through news on my phone. 

Pretty normal sh*t. 

It was hot this morning and I was sweating profusely. Nothing I could do about it so I ignored the sweat rolling down my back and my chest, etc. I didn't notice the OTHER sweat. 

Here's a picture. 

Notice the PERFECT outline of my twig and berries. Impressive as it is, it ALSO looks a whole lot like pissed my f**king shorts. I noticed this just as the bus was pulling up. It was a sh*tty moment, friends. 

The amount of time I had between discovering my swamp-genitals and the bus arriving was about 15 seconds. Had a lot of thoughts in that short amount of time and all of them were pretty mortifying. But in the end, I got on the bus and felt everyone staring at my wet groin, assuming I'd peed myself.

Can't blame them...I woulda thought the same thing. 

Good times.

Until tomorrow, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!