Jokes from the Maggots

Friday, September 14th


Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

Okay back to the rub anybody and don't show on ninety wrong. They tiara is you don't know. The you're listening to the everybody and dawn show. Called him any time any U 89899. Hello David. Hey good morning everybody. Game and happy Friday and Steve Smith yeah flood. I don't want to hurt your neighbor they certainly sister he'd eaten the last day of people are secure that country. Today all actually turned thirty and you have. AD I. And. If. You're. Dallas just made a couple loose ends here and then gets a what I think we all need do Jones from the Matthews I'll other giant good morning easy that much harder. Morning I. Now the time yeah yeah. It's I think that lady had the camera around you got three strange kid fundamental Rwandan president you know they couldn't even drugs like it's a that's good Vienna essentially just making sure they're not being bad yeah. There's a few little facts that are off they're not that you're usually you make a good point yeah the letter writer said. We have surveillance cameras. The the husband didn't know there was one in the bedroom in the air to humanity doesn't oral Lamar and your sailor there is another button kids are ones in the seventeen year old the other kids off at college. But it with teenagers and and and it a dear lost her father and who knows what maybe she's worth. How she's acting out and of course plays that I mean teenagers there's drugs it's like going to a nightclub. Nice club for God's sake where he's gonna happen in my glove similar expression a drum drums chaos where women are in love and then underdog darlings. Smart data and market. Go all the sudden. Wakefield. Teoma disorders say if I lady had Campbell where else would you Bershard. Also expecting a little something. Whether Buick you know politicians so. New companies or. Whatever to me they're more and she I don't know why this we'll look forward to your development was wholly owned. You know she's just to tell you how to put forward and go. And I mean what better recap could there have been in that phone call that was only about Verizon altogether is. Yeah. And you're losing does right now. You Lauren and yet a joke emails RED at red radio dot com do not call you cannot tell jokes he can barely make coherent sentences. Only demonstrated by our last call. But last caller I might mean last caller on the EU show. I I don't like star some simple some unease in June this is our first one is from genie they've seen me she says I don't trust elevators aren't gonna start taking steps to avoid them. Smart that's that's very life. Next email this from mark aim market zeroed I love the show I felt I finally needed to write in with one of my favorite jokes from recent memory. Two men get randomly paired play golf together and they're enjoying their day quickly they find themselves being slowed down by a terribly women playing in front of on the next hole one of the man's starts to walk up to the pair of women ask hey can we play through the standard golf etiquette he gets halfway turns around comes back. Says the other hand I'm. Would you mind going up and asking one of those women is my wife. And the other one's my mistress follow. All the other agrees. Gets about halfway. Turns around comes back walks up to the Annan and says. It's a small world. I mean you guys did this double day commitment. He's worked out. My muscles stuff in the last segment and I thought that was like in another doctor problem that. It had solid forgot we really know we're trying to play. Let. Yeah you know it's burned by here's three's actually yes it how is married like a hot bath. Once you get used to it it's not so I. He's our what's the deal of marriage ban. Why should I honeymoon only be six days supply because seven days makes a whole week. Any alarm. I just can't. And I'm confident. What's the speed limit of sex collide 68 because at 69 years to turnaround. That that's. Email from Marcus Marcus how many animals can you fit a pair of pantyhose and maybe two cabs and Massa beat her a whole bunch of hair is one camel toe and they fish nobody can find. Not an animal and six months. For Mac Saber metrics how you make your girlfriend stream while having sex. Caller and teller. I don't want her Max is as follows a young married couple were sitting in the movie theater after awhile the woman says to her husband. The man next to me is a pleasure himself healthy. Ignoring honey from Iowa does move seats she says he had he's using my hand. Faster than you can come. But because Chris that sets a this is from Cody Cody did you know pigeons. Have sex after they died. Oh well when I was within the and it is flit. Imagine a brown one year but he really didn't hurt it does to have fun and yes yes I'm. The mega remember echo bay at a echo. As a compliment her woman complains to her mother says I had this big fight and my husband Joseph one of the enemy just told me he'd go to hell. Her mother frowns and says oh NC came to me how. Mom can I play with grandpa now hole just leave them hanging in to the police come. OK okay. What are we went. I did this didn't have been snags it now grant mustang unit. The guy doing the job I cook cook I'm pretty. The people for the foot of the flag let's get into our regular starting with dread the day this Trevor. Chart of the day is big time there he identifies as gay saudis proud anyone be part of jokes on the magazines and long days until gay jokes so here's a two on the gas and but hey man goes to church one Sunday as the offering basket is passed he drops in a big wad of bills. In the basket gets back to the minister he notices the water is money and announces saw one here. Was very generously offering today I'd like to ask the person who gave his large amount of money to please stand so the game and stands up. The minister continues while sir we certainly do appreciate your generosity and to show our appreciation. I'm going to let you select your three favorite hymns. The game and says both can and can't. From a long way. Yeah she is better being born black or being boring day well four. That the we need entered W. To see if the black because it does your parents. And community yet okay. And Helena. This being million net new is not easy but in the car. There's also view from Sheridan is shared. My wife wasn't mad at me yesterday so we had a few words I didn't really get to use mind. Nash had mirrored national. I like older men because they've gotten used to life's disappointments which means they're ready for me. I sent that one my wife and I did it did not appreciate. I got my car wax earlier and I'm still not sure how it keeps getting that Harry. Two children every doctor's waiting room a little girl was sobbing crying softly trying. The little boy says why you. Why he and the girls as close up it S going to Rick might be done. And the boy starts to cry all and boy looks that are worthy and says I can't play you're in at. Blue moon I ask you. Trust one for a share and then a young boy comes home from school a bad mood his father asked them what's wrong son. The kids tells his dad he's upset because another kid has been teasing him and calling him day. So far says we'll. The face next time stuff the kid says yeah but he's so cute. Now batting Barry the veteran DA. Larry we just this whole Lionel and everyone is identifying herself Trevor the game and a triple Berry the net well handicap and I don't know it's been. He identifies script I. I gotta fight that policy would Barry has. Remember. What is a soldier who's least favorite month mullah march. And off you go marine and an IQ of 160 full I had a platoon. The duties. Last military ones from married and a couple of us straight ones what's the difference between a fighter jets and a fighter pilot a full the jets stop whining when the engines are all. So what was variant are ordered all the branches that he's attacking your costar yeah. Or just have a sense of humor maybe that's it hides the nonmilitary ones Barea right donated money to a blind children's charity but they'll never see a dime. Means. Is if you look at it and let you know when that given his meeting. I hear about the tank that ran over a bucket of popcorn. Kernels were killed. How do you fish yet high back. C Wayne. Says see you we love. That behind Missouri or. Is there for Patrick Patrik. A teacher says can't what are something you have that make you happy first in San I have my family's second says. And then the teacher says what he and Sean and Sean says I had to take pills to make me yes. Yellow press and it's or state and one from Patrick is I had fuel. Jewish. Yes. You know and K Nancy you heard. Is the worst round of Joseph and Maggie and didn't need these denying him the lead. Chosen people. Their red violets are blue I haven't gone get the man. I love how in horror movie is when the person is scared they call out. A low as if the site was gonna say hey what's problematic kids and wanna. Gray hair. Patrick and believes. Behind every girl's cell feet are approximately 43 identical photos that didn't make the cut. Sir are. Let's not a joke it's Friday never hit a man with glasses. With a baseball. I just want Apple Store get rob does that make me an eyewitness a behind every successful man is his woman behind the fall of this excellent but the success. Gotta love closeness that's a share. Words twister behind every successful man is his woman behind the fall of the sensitive. Yeah. You can get it do you at this time John got by you did in rehearsal. Behind every successful man isn't woman behind the fall of a successful man is usually the other woman. Sleep in the. It was funny and my wife left me for Hindu guy. At least till Streeter better they warship cows. Married late night you're glad they didn't Judy moody the couple cut and that is that women. It. I don't know how soon in the longstanding batting order to first up is more read today. She writes now get Donald like view more reads always a little feud and Celia. I mean. Why did the why did the donut visit the dentist fly get a new feeling. What happens when a cop gets in the bed of why he becomes an undercover cop. That email and then about thirty minutes later we got another one from marine who wrote my husband said that the jokes they sent in were horrible. And good parents and there's no one's. I was walking through the quarry I said the Foreman that sure is a big rock. It corrected me and said boulder so I stuck out my chest and shouted that sure is a big rock. Husband never date someone cross site and you'll always catch them seen other people on the side. If just have a new look at him and will be fine full next up is Carlos the Mexican. Ha credits aren't Mexicana those Carlos the identifies as Larry although yet again none of his jokes are about Mexican. And Carlos I find it ironic that the colors red white and blue stand for freedom until there flashing behind you. Health is merely the. Slowest possible rate at which one can dine. But hoping Donald Trump or on stage in front of huge crowds Lotus leans towards mr. trump and says. You know that was one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy just joy. Well not be a momentary display like that of your followers. Although deepen their hearts and for the rest of their lives whenever they speak of this day they will rejoice. Donald Trump looks and says I seriously doubt that and with one little wave your hand you can do that show me above slap them. So does Bryant for favoring it a hundred years ago everyone Matamoros and only the rich had cars. Nowadays everyone has a car and only the rich have horses oh how the stables of turn. Yeah I liked that and I yeah. OK see you both fired I'm not yeah. These different on this one is heard on he's got one breaches are underdog. Doctor doctor I feel like it go to doctor says how long have you felt like that since I was a kid. I can get very army acting thing. Here's one for Brandon what are you calling Harrison Ford when he smokes weed lines console high. On the cell lol I'm so. That the millennium. Low key in match. And this one's for mean with the way from law school he says why does California have the most lawyers in New Jersey the most toxic waste dumps try New Jersey had first choice. Flash why. For your grandson went to the doctor's office the other day I found out my new doctors a young female and drop dead gorgeous. I was embarrassed but she said don't worry I'm a professional I've seen it all before. Just tell me what's wrong and I will check it out so I said. My wife thinks might think each case funny. And finally Ricardo roll up her ex didn't cure. So just two and what starts with EMs with EU and only has one let her and it. And I below. Oh country. Now not always sometimes there's money in an on the hook urged his car at her hard. This is inaccurate. We usually do. He doesn't do you love autumn of hello I. Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Don't break anybody's hearts they only have one. Break your bones if you're 60 yeah. What does the color of the wind flag blu. The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and eve. It was an apple was very limited memory just one bite everything crash. I teenage daughter was worried that she was 21 dimensional when it came to applying for schools. I told that wasn't true when that she was like and onions as many layers. She also smells really bad and makes me for a. Last one friend Ricardo love. OK we. The one and a deaf person sees someone you on do they think it's a stream the economy. I'm glad. There will always love her. I don't think yeah this statement today it means to you people if you want everybody jokes in the magazine knows Larry the red radio dot. OK by me and dawn. And dawn show. All right team. A white 2009167665. Doesn't want to pair of weekend passes and I. Aftershocks YE.