Jokes from the Maggots 9-17-18

Monday, September 17th


Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

Anybody and John. Fifty yards you got there. So anybody can dawn. Call him any time. I am radio I'm. Think it is not good morning and then. Sanitation let's. I'm so I wanted to calm because they talk about food dream bit weird things they. You know come to us at certain moments it wanted to get your game their opinion on the show when I was there. Pool aren't really of seventeen or eighteen or so. My great grandson had kept me that dream. And she talked to me about how restaurant. And see. Should leave the restaurant we weight on the outside it was like a white hallows would that be a few steps going up to the door to wraparound scores didn't. You're locked inside everything is really successful and I didn't I had always thought like maybe I should've been Iraq chat but he hadn't thought maybe. Well that would turtle too old Serb. They had to do that which I haven't battery. Diet Saturday. I was now. That's crazy dream stated that talking to my mom about it the next day and she would think what did you carry your great grandmother used to own a restaurant and I know. And could see showed me a picture. The house. Credit photo album and it was exactly the same dream that I thought as it was there this game how they congregate. Now could do this just ban. Life a retelling of the story in your dream like you heard your mom talking about it in passing when you're younger and this is just kind of your brain retelling the story now. I will never ever nailed it C. Ever director never bothered photo and I forgot I had forgotten dad in areas that 20. I mean our brains pretty powerful and crazy where we're convinced me you were little and now. Brandi next to them you were little and then at seventeen Mary doing so as far as you know being out is on one win of making you go out you opened that restaurant. If you hit and it's not successful then yeah it was just the memory Everett Daniel Graham. Have a to be either way could be just a memory that got lost it for you when you were a little of five in the united about it seventeenth or was it could. Beat her grandma wasn't me you upping your dream which would be a. So do you go opened grandma's country and I am Ellen great grandma's little bragging doses are coming back in and dream. What I did back in my day yeah. And that's how. I just came we had this email our radio rhetoric here are some firm Mitchell admits he says happy birthday mr. Williams. Old geezer you're dad's birthday thank you so much for taking my days brighter and bringing me so much perspective on seemingly challenging aspects of life well I don't think he realized that it is all manageable. You are truly the crap billions and grab. Thanks so much. RED Iran rated icon double or listener mail things as wounds from Steve is Steve he says bear with me as I'm a little drunk as I write this year. Two day I was relaxing after a long shift and re listening to view your shows from last week. The segment about policy riots came up again the Russian man colonel and it made me think about how why it. Went and looked them up after you first mentioned them. And the poisoning and of one of their members there was nothing posted about it on their answer hammer FaceBook pages about this. And there was even excitement about a festival they displayed this week am I losing my mind it. Or is the band that was so against Putin covering this poisoning up I'm gonna go all to your drunkenness he did it. Personally or your ego doesn't make a lot of sense because you so when I first mention just as a side note I said oh well that's an eyebrow raiser because. Pussy riot the band they start was 2008 they twelve is they came into. To view more than been around forever but they are there and anti aimed at improving their feminist oriented Russian protest groups there opposed imprudent and his policies and when does the story came over last week at his mansion whoa one of them been hospitalized. And and the beverage believes they've been poisoned the and there's all these stories about Russia poisoning people and anybody that speaks out against them in the the stories everywhere yeah. It's it I anyway is obviously not Google I don't know if you if you go a little bit that's the minute I brought it up that was breaking news at that time so maybe at that moments. Nothing had been updated all it Google is progressing down and now at some. Every set and apply sad death. When you first as president Ivan I Google and it and nothing came up what I realize I'm trying to make sense of the drunk man's email hit but what does it actually. They're not just regarding the board that would be the only way I could and the guy's name is PO juror reversal loft. He's been an emergency care since Tuesday he has lost his eyesight and his ability to speak now we have. I'll know what happened when his dad whom the band pussy now. We'll get the news media go to the man hands on an adult entertainment so look for other stuff. And how. I found higher energy beat Dallas has been on it. And Christina Ellis from mega that's the area. There now we got a few emails about we're talking last week well for variety reinvent the talk about Norman Donald come putting his foot in his mouth when his foot in his mouth again and he was out of all these these tourists. Media tour is because of his new show on Netflix called Norm MacDonald has a show which was just getting just destroyed that was the final insult last week was even. A friend of his a fan of his for the Hollywood reporter wrote this horrible review about. Palace on watchable and and it's just a mass and everybody was given these terrible reviews so. I did I did watch it. And on as the many views so we'll start with the you're constantly and entertain review up at red radio dot com Kerry says I've watched each episode. Up through Chevy Chase does Norm MacDonald fifty your called comedian weird acquired taste all the time and now he has guests on once. Basically a Norm MacDonald version of a talk show no structure at all whatsoever. Seemingly intentional intuition is really weird he says besides the fact that he does have a habit of cutting off his guests Norm MacDonald I've enjoyed each episode. I looked as interviews and I never bend. A Norm MacDonald van that was one of the complaints we heard was that he just stops people governor David Spade in the first episode we heard. Was like literally yelling and like Joseph let me talk let me tell the joke and I get out and it was gonna be completely uncomfortable locks the interviews are hitting ability was doing. And then there's this from nick. Paint it he says the Norm MacDonald shows very funny the David Spade episode was hysterical all of the awkwardness worked. And made it even funny here I feel some need to wash up credit have you any check that I at all yes I've watched the first three well two and a half. Past episodes so I texted you Friday I would write home Friday was ordered Washington's only time I had sex in Jew. Wade into the David Spade of so the first episode that it did was. Like cringe worthy like I MC IA couldn't sit still in my seat it was so bad. And I sexy couple hours later after I watched a few more episodes taking a break. And come back watch the Letterman episode with the whole alleged allegedly he storms off thing which she doesn't buy that you get that when you're not yet. And storm off its it's that he ate. I think it was all planned basically especially knowing Letterman showbiz jobs. Bomb and and and I am as you see in the review I am as diplomats now as I was when I texted you the second time and said. I really want your input now because this show is clearly. Designed it to be ridiculous. They they. Norm MacDonald takes breaks when there are no brakes it's Netflix there's no commercial as an anti malaria in the first episode he totally screwed David Spade why can't tell if he's in on the joke or not. Because he makes and tell the story almost kind of sort of tries they think he is on it. Mom didn't have a forklift that's driving through this at later on. Plus there's dogs everywhere. That horrible song that they sing at the end that's funny too which is it's so bad it's funny I. So now I'm sorry I'm sure it is this just all their Frankie that's their positive as the this whole thing. Isn't meant to be so bad that it's good keeping in mind McDonald's is weird this is Connie. He had this is totally Norman Donald style and this is just this is par for the course and this is just like his norm McDonald line need to show but just on steroids because now they have the funding to get really good guests on. And I think I know I mean they have to be in on it they have to know OK we're gonna lock out here and this is gonna be free farm let's just have some fun but the thing is. It's not like Norm MacDonald is trapping them that he's not. He's not looking anything guess he's nuts he's seemingly pumping us is the audience because. It's such an unorthodox way of delivering a talk show but what I love about it is. Now McDonald's. Really humanizing is their guess and it knew he kind of gets people open up a lot about things they wouldn't normally talk and Alex Drew Barrymore. Was one of the interviews I saw. And he straight up asks her. Are you do you miss cocaine yeah. And how he you know is she had actually gives a very poignant answer it's you know very. These. And I feel like that's kind of just the ways that the whole show got. So that's another I'd that's why wanted to hear your thoughts first because one of the things they hit me halfway through watching these things and make the Jane Fonda episode Jim got an idea that when his. Off the charts great in my opinion and one of the things that and realize at some point I like. Nor McDonald's Conan Brandon he's get this stuff out of people golf. That David space story that I kidnap story about him on the Tonight Show. I have never heard that I've heard every goddamn tonight's show story that's ever been told and they swear up and down it's never ever been told publicly and it's a great story. But if you're sick I would handle it the wrong mindset I would note expecting any. So I'm so distracted by all the weirdness and then once you get past that. Fascinating show it really is night and day. Compared to the article that was written that you shared with us. Because that article makes it sound like. He's lost his mind he has no idea what he's really think it's sad to watch uncomfortable to see me. You know she's terrible at the scene stick with whatever else it is that he does and fidelity do you guys. It felt like this is what he meant to do it it's funny and he's in on it. And it's just a part of what he's doing what is it. And that makes that odd is because this guy is allegedly a friend and fan enormous. Well look I get somebody who doesn't know Norma Donald unlike competitors like dish out. But you're gonna think this is so little weir yeah and not funny that you're gonna be you're going to be at my wife would have been there should not clots in the she's and they an episode that I'm on right now is he interviewing Judge Judy which I don't. Yeah I'm there and I I and I loved it and so far it's a really good news here but you have to be able to sit down and really pay attention because things go so fast there's so many like you know detours he takes has not done. Italy and the United Center ZLX distracting kind of keep I guess on their toes so as not one of those things you just have on the background it is ironic the Brennan makes that point is when he says the episode is on right now he means that's what he's doing right now in the computer. And dawn. And dawn show. If you leave your. Yeah. It is you that yeah than usual. He's too good to be true right at all. And how strong Mikey he didn't and he left wing everyday lives. Sports sit on that didn't adoption gets an exclusive move. Customized just for you can't catering you don't just sign up cortex count to 651 provides for the cleanest. And show weekdays three days. Yeah rock. 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Call live. 9011 bullets and online brand radio I'm. The female pioneer Marion. Charlie's nicely no sponsors they run as I wish you happy birthday. I've been listening to you guys for about 24 year. And I share Burton they would do as I am turns 33 today as well mom I was nine and all generations of listeners. You guys are great to listen to yes Don you guys you cook good working with today guys. And if you're listening to us right now you are trying to have a joke email sorry dear red radio dot com don't call you cannot tell generals. Yes slightly abbreviated version. Jones from the maggots so hey you can't get mad at me it's my birthday bash be if you did send in jokes and you don't hear earned today. Yeah. You'll find out tomorrow if they weren't good enough to look. On a version out there than not it's his birthday so whenever mom Nancy start this from last league is Leslie I like to do in the in the simple winds of the funny when the party once you started she says these jokes. Are from my ten year old. Whose side and and he didn't. Say the three year old grandson Atticus. Almighty god. Great name has the is why shouldn't you tell an egg at a joke of why it might crack up. I did the policeman go to the baseball game we'll you heard someone stole a base. Why are the teacher's eyes cross why. I she couldn't controller pupil. And finally from ten year old attic is what makes music on your head and blood I had been and the months. Here's a couple from crucial pit crucial Barley says when I'm pretty sure that they may have well whenever I undressed in the bathroom my shower gets turned on the. And I branding you know me and yes I live. Yeah yeah actress Debbie ringing she dinner. So let's not let's. Knock knock who's there the interrupting towel Dina and. But he thought. But Arafat. I didn't see the day they Don looks like he does some yoga on mountain bird. And that that Jesus. Every day with this we have a couple brain. With the Braves and it was an error Carney aren't actually T see why else peace. Our mountains aren't just funny they're hilarious yeah. But there and that's. Trevor the game slowed just trap where he has a double game Joseph source. Why did Katie Holmes divorce Tom Cruise line pain because apparently he Bennett a few good men. Alleged Trevor is other no he was interviewed and I can prove that and. He she's just a martyr dead dad and I can't let this guy. I'm excited and speak. Here's another story there goes your father says dad I've been waiting for the right won't tell you that I'm a lesbian. It's very difficult for me to tell you something like this I hope you. Understanding you don't get Manning sure each shoe de Cuba facing the dad says it's okay honey I love you man and his other daughter says I'm a lesbian to. And dad says Jesus Christ not my kids like poison Renaissance says the. Thought. Our regular is beginning to share it in case there and then she writes when a girl change of clothes in front of you it means she's rarely do you. More PGM and spotted you on the cover there. People are lucky they can eat whatever they want and not have to worry about getting back. I want from Sheridan is my friend is thinking of getting the Labrador. Had to talk him out of because have you seen how many of their owners go to law. All right it was trouble from Barry the veteran Dave Barry none of his jokes are military base some of the systems label what the foot long slippery a full slipper. What he called Filipino can portion asked why a Manila folder. Maybe and then on the fifth and mean they're called Filipino in the capital Manila but no in this absolutely zero wrong with the idea that net. Asked one very merry helped him hairdressers are never late for work. How can they know all the shortcut. You all right so look out of all I'm just apologize and advance to a Patrick and Mario the earn out Mario Carlos the Mexican people have Britain's critics again there they're you're just you're just gains for no reason other than our guys did great solid double Patrick's car of today let's get some marine statement read good. A man went to the police station wishing to speak with a burglar who had broken into his house the night before. The desk sergeant says you'll get your chance and ports and Kansas and I don't. I wanna know how we got into the house without waking my wife I've been trying to do that. No one more marine husband says to his wife I hear you've been telling everyone I'm Betty. And the wife says sorry I didn't know that was a secret. Last in the we go to Atlanta and then our cleanup hitter is what branch has forest Aybar is it. I saw a woman smoking with her baby in the car and it made me feel disgusted with the world we live in. That's a woman drive. How many bones are human hand how many handful. Plus one from brands what's the most expensive haircuts let. Chemotherapy. Sir. I'm here I am teach. Start. You answer yes he grandes you have more I know it's in the more hard last up of blood and Syria Myanmar. Any Christie you gentlemen good to divert that or this is what's that we have from the week are. On my birth place. Billy you talk all you want I am so sorry let the man named his dogs rule at some time next why they were watchdogs. Nike picked Tanya Harding for its ads wasn't she the first one the taken me. Says the daughter dad why is my sister's name that he sore. A because your mother loves roses in her name is rose backwards. All fence dad dad says no problem wanna. Mean. I'm yeah. You me and in an emulator. Us. Oh yeah this is. Yeah I wanna find out who loves you more stick your wife and your dog in the trunk of your car for an hour home buying when you open the trunk. I was happy to see yeah. One of the stuff from a guard says the Bible says it's okay to be gay so long as your high it's limited yes 2013 which reads. If a man lies with a another man he should be stoned. Mean he's sharing the. Plus I'm. Had you go. Again. It's value regardless from the maggots that Ari do you read radio dot com we'll do a longer version mare now we got to get to the pressure cooker a daily trivia game we play at least once every single day although we don't get a winner every single day we shared. We did earlier this. First greater level tickets and how we move onto our newest prizes trinity the other nobody you know kids don't live right in thirty seconds and you win a pair of tickets to see our flagship station nine the Iraq. In Sacramento California present Deep Purple and Judas a the show is Sunday September 30 at the Toyota amphitheater and none of that matters mr. kollar eighteen right now. Now you can do phone numbers 88899911. Dollar eighteen plays the pressure. He had gone.